How do you make the survivor in a long tenured marriage want to live?

September 7, 2010

I met a couple in Battery Park located in New Castle, Delaware with whom I exchanged ideas on being empty nesters.  They floored me when they said that they only got to be empty nesters for two weeks.  The wife’s parents were elderly and sick, so they decided to move them into their home.  The wife shared that she watched her mother tussle with the grim reaper until she concluded that life was no longer worth living.

The mother initially argued that she would live long enough to see a series of events occur. However, the mother’s health deteriorated so rapidly that she lost her will to live.

Her mother’s death brought to an end a marriage of 64 years. This wife says her father is wrought with depression to where he cries all of the time. I was stunned when this wife said that they did not expect her father to live a year. It was obvious that the father has given up his will to live.

This mother’s words forecasting her father’s life expectancy were very disquieting. Do you have any suggestions as to how to make the surviving spouse in a long tenured marriage want to live after the death of his or her mate? Is love like a two edged sword that can bring pain getting into the marriage and bring more distress getting out even if it ends in a divorce?