Today’s Parental Abdication May Mean Tomorrow’s Inmate
By
White American child upbringing techniques appear to be the mainstream model for minority groups to emulate in bringing up the next generation of Americans. Hence, black parental mannerisms commonplace in yesterday’s black homes could land many of today’s black parents in prison for child abuse.
Thus, we might ask, “Is today’s overlooked black upward mobility worry that Black American parents might be forced into parental gridlock or parental discipline abdication?” This paradigm shift away from yesterday’s black parental modus operandi may lead to lost generations of black children due to their lack of an appreciation of mainstream societal decorum. Blacks’ grandparents who are sixty and up years old readily share stories of how their fore parents and neighbors freely used corporal punishment on bad behaving children. Yesteryear’s black children did not give serious thought to disrespecting their parents, neighbors, and school teachers because they knew their parents’ wrath was not something to be taken lightly.
I spent my early childhood growing up between two public housing projects and my teenage years playing with children who still lived in public housing. I can count on two hands the number of children I knew during my youth who were in trouble with the law. If the police brought you home for an infraction, you would prefer to stay with the police officers than confront the wrath of your parents. Many infractions were settled in the neighborhood. Children who attempted to display haughty mannerisms would find themselves subject to aggressive punishment metered out by yesterday’s black parents, so most black children I knew did not attempt to exploit a gangster persona.
It would be easy for me to argue that many black youth’s enchantment with the demeaning lyrics in rap music is the reason that some youth might view the gangster persona as a badge of honor. However, I witnessed a Euro-American child totally disrespect his mother in public which kindled my questioning whether or not blacks’ embracing white upbringing techniques and discarding all of yesterday’s black parental upbringing is a wise decision.
I was at a nonsectarian private school when I heard a white boy, I guesstimate at nine years old, start a temper tantrum. He shouted something to the effect, “Shut up,” in a very indignant tone to his mother. You would have thought he was an abusive husband. He then continued, “You don’t know how to shut up when I tell you!”
His mother was totally humiliated as our eyes met. I didn’t know whether to feel sorry for this lady or to give her a good spanking for permitting this child to abuse her in public. If this child had pulled this antic on my late mother he would still be licking his wounds. Mama would have slapped this bad boy’s head so hard he would be seeing stars.
I ran across a black mother in a supermarket with a kid that was roughly five years old who was sitting in her shopping cart. This kid was having a terrible temper tantrum. This little black boy was really making a scene, so I commented to the black mother, “All he needs is a good spanking.”
She looked up with frustration in her eyes. “He ain’t worth going to jail over,” she replied.
This black mother’s response was very troubling because it suggested that her little son was already written off while he was still a baby. This mother appeared helpless to handle her child. I felt disenchanted as I conjured up visions of this little black boy becoming an inmate in another ten to fifteen years when a good spanking today might save him from a life of crime.
We become appalled at visions of child abuse leading to the death of innocent children. On the other hand, I worry that we may be hamstringing today’s parents to discipline their children because many parents fear the public’s wrath through claims that they are abusing their children.
I have listened to other people speak about their concern at being tainted in a child abuse situation if they desired to use corporal punishment on their children. My concern is that children are losing parental respect for they feel there are no consequences for bad behavior because public condemnation of their parents is a 911 call away. Have we etched parental discipline abdication and parental gridlock into the popular culture?
I guess it appears that thousands of years of not sparing the rod and not spoiling the child is out of vogue today. Is parental respect a relic of a by-gone era? However, I did see some hope, at the same private school that the white boy disrespected his mother. A chap of Asian descent shared how folks were amazed at how orderly and mannerly his children are. I encouraged him to offer his recipe for modern parental respect. He replied, “They don’t have any other option!”
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